Monday, June 28, 2010

Throwing White Rice Makes Me Cry. And White Flour, White Sugar...

April 1, 2010 (yes, we laughed about the irony too) I decided to throw out all the "white" foods I had around the house. Any simple carbohydrates that quickly became sugar in the blood were thrown out. So no more white flour, white sugar, or white rice. I barely bake or cook from scratch so the flour wasn't a huge sacrifice to make. Fortunately the rice was nearly empty or I would still be bemoaning the waste of money. But the sugar, ah...there's the rub. I had only bought it two days prior and it was barely open. Sugar, you dear old childhood friend, you sweet tyrant. How I would miss you...

Until I remembered I'd miss limbs that would have to be amputated if I continued on this path of overindulgence even more and after that it was easy to rid the house of sugar and its minion white bread in favor of more complex carbohydrates like whole wheat and multi-grain. Brown rice was in and so was wheat pasta. I would become virtuous with my eating habits if it would keep me alive and started taking my medication every day. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. Guess you could say I was up to the bargaining stage of grief at this point, having come through denial and anger already. What if I'd refused to go to the doctor? Would I be dead right now? Looking back it still makes me shake.

Next came other sweet sources. Soda? Diet or zero carb. That ice cream in the freezer? Slush in the dumpster, its delicious whipped topping, chocolate syrup and marashino cherries shortly followed. Adios, mi tres leche cake. I kept the Godiva liqueur for occasional treats because a) Delicious and b)It was a frickin' present from Dave, my darling man's brother.

On to portion control. I started measuring my food. One-third cup for rice. Two dry ounces of pasta. Three ounces of lean meat and a cup or so of non-starchy vegetables. So too much rice: bad. Green leafy veggies? Go nuts. Up to a point.

I started drinking more black, green and herbal tea; bought the big box of Splenda with a little Stevia or agave nectar for variation. My sugar started slowly coming down. The agave was expensive and even though it didn't spike as bad as sugar, it still spiked a bit so I phased it out in favor of Stevia and Splenda. I decided it would be a good idea to start cutting fat and sodium too so bye bye to most fast food. I would start to think of myself as allergic to it and try to avoid it until I felt more self-disciplined. I'm not there yet so you can imagine how long it's been since my last french fry. Salt started taking a backseat to other seasonings like garlic, ginger, lemon pepper, and herbs. I've swapped out fish for most red meat and now make a mean turkey burrito.

But let me be honest. I haven't been perfect. I've cheated. I've pigged out on peanut butter crackers and the occasional sugar free chocolate treat. I'm a little better than I was a few months ago.

Now I want to take a moment and acknowledge the kickarse support system I have. There's the built-in resource I have in my friend and personal angel, Jen, who is herself diabetic and has been there with great advice like, "Don't beat yourself up. Make small changes." (Kev, you are sooooo lucky! But so is she.)

My most important man, mi Esteban is now and has always been my rock. He's worth getting healthy and staying alive for.

I am truly blessed to have a "mother-in-law" like Ellen, Stephen's mom. She's been there for me when I needed to go to the doctor or pick up prescriptions and has found great diabetic snacks for me to try. Fortunate is she who calls this woman not only family but friend. I'm not kissing up, she's a classy lady but she'll also boomsmite me out of existence when and if she has to.

My great friends of TBA and MMOs. I don't see them as often as I would like because they have their own families but I love them.

When Stephen joined the Nihonzashi Dojo of St. Petersburg, Florida I also gained a group of wonderful, yet dangerous friends who are awesome to chill with and couldn't have anyone better guarding my back. Sempai is not only a fun "big sis" but also has been where I am with a family member and is lovingly strict with me. I'm not going to argue with a woman who could cut my head off and put it back on my neck before my body hit the ground.

LJ, you wickedly funny guy! We love you, your humor, your passion, and your re-introducing me to Doctor Who. I'm glad you're in my life.

To my mIRC buddies, especially the multitalented Filia, who came up with the name for this blog. Ranchan, Vaz, Yasu (grab!). Oyasumi.

Last and least...oh, I'm joking...are the usual gang of idiots I work with, for yelling at me if I even look at fast food, checking to make sure I don't cheat with sugared soda and complimenting me on my weight loss.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as a go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

No comments:

Post a Comment