Health Time: Goodies for the Sugarless

Special thanks to Herbie and Marian for the title of this blog.

Diabetes, like most diseases, are profitable. There are several companies that specialize in diabetes-related food products, the most famous is Fifty50, a company that makes twenty-five different low or sugar-free foods and donates half of its profits to diabetes research.

Another newer company is Glucerna, who has a line of shakes, cereals and snack bars. They taste great, are low-calorie and low-carb and light and small enough to fit in you pocket. But there's just one little problem.

They're expensive. It's great that there's more readily available foods for diabetics but what would really help is reducing the sugar content of “regular” food. For eight mini-bars the price ranges from five to six dollars. That's roughly sixty-three to seventy-five cents per bar. And yes, I know there are much more expensive snacks but I'm on a budget.

So I started looking around and found some alternative snacks that are less expensive. They had to match three criteria:

Low calorie

Low carb

Inexpensive

Hunts Snack Pack. Sugar-free gelatin and pudding. I tried the cherry, strawberry, and orange gelatins and the vanilla, caramel, and chocolate. The gelatin have only ten calories and two grams of carbohydrates while the puddings range from sixty to eighty calories and eleven to fifteen grams of carbohydrates. My favorite is chocolate but they all taste good. A four pack cost me one dollar, or twenty-five cents per snack.

Unsweetened Applesauce. Mott's makes a good one, if pricey at two-seventy for six making it sixty-three cents a piece. It's a good low calorie choice, having only fifty and just twelve grams of carbs. I usually go with the store brand for one seventy-nine for six or thrity cents a piece. There are also several good organic applesauce but they're a bit more, ranging from two thirty-nine to three nineteen for four individual serving cups or sixty to eighty cents apiece. Always look for weekly specials because sometimes you can find them three for five dollars.

Lance Toasted Peanut Butter Crackers. I love these, they taste great and are so portable I even took them with me to Japan. A word of caution; out of all the snacks I sampled these were the highest in calories, about one hundred and ninety with nineteen grams of carbs and eleven percents of your recommended serving of sodium for just six crackers. Half the calories are from fat alone as well. These are good for incredibly busy days with lots of physical activity or just before exercise. They can range from two eighty nine to a mere one ninety nine for eight packs or thirty-six to twenty-five cents for each snack. Again, go with the store brand when you can find them.

Now this is just my evaluation of packaged snacks for busy on the go days. You can make your own at home for lower carb, fat, and price yourself. Here are some examples I found on the American Diabetes Association website. (www.diabetes.org)

Snacks with less than 5 grams of carbohydrate

• 3 celery sticks + 1 Tablespoon of peanut butter

• ¼ cup of fresh blueberries

• 1 cup of salad greens, 1/2 cup of diced cucumber, and with vinegar and oil

• 1 cup of light popcorn

About 10-20 grams of carbohydrate

• ½ cup almonds or other nuts

• ¼ cup dried fruit and nut mix

• 1 small apple or orange

• 1/3 cup hummus + 1 cup raw fresh cut veggies (green peppers, carrots, broccoli, cucumber, celery, cauliflower or a combination of these)

About 30 grams of carbohydrate (good to eat before exercise)

• ½ peanut butter sandwich (1 slice whole wheat bread + 1 Tablespoon peanut butter) + 1 cup milk

• 6 oz light yogurt + ¾ cup berries (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, or a combination of these)

• 3/4 cup whole grain, ready-to-eat cereal + ½ cup fat-free milk

• 1 medium banana + 1 Tablespoon peanut butter

There are plenty of other snacks you can make so be creative! Try new food combinations and if you're not sure about portion sizes, have your measuring cups and spoons ready.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as I go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

Blood Testing: Feeding the Daily Vampiric Meter

I hate pain.

Always have. My brothers and sisters can tell you any time we had a fight I was usually the first to start to cry when the punches started to hurt. So it should come to no surprise to anyone who knows me that I was less than enthusiastic to learn I'd have to poke myself in the finger every morning to check my blood sugar levels.

Let me explain what a glucose meter is. It's a medical device used to determine the approximate concentration of glucose(sugar) in the blood. It's essential for for people with diabetes to measure their

glucose levels at home.

To test your blood first you wash your hands, then load a lancet into a spring loaded lancing device. It basically launches the lancet fast and hard enough to pierce your skin and draw blood. Then you channel a blood drop into the coded test strip that you inserted in your meter beforehand. Trying to juggle the meter and the test strip can be difficult and even messy so take the time to do the prep work. The meter will then display your current blood glucose levels. Blood sugar levels are as follows:

Baseline blood glucose levels. What your sugar levels should be like first thing in the morning before you eat or drink.

80-120 Normal But ideally, try to keep it around 100.

70 and below Hypoglycemic Holy crud! Eat some crackers NOW!

Above 120 Hyperglycemia This is as bad as being to low! Exercise and burn it

off!

If testing two hours after a meal, blood glucose levels should be no more than 140.

Either condition could lead to coma or death. This is why testing daily is so important.

This doesn't stop me from hating it. Aside from hurting my fingers on a daily basis I'm starting to get

callouses at the injection sites which means I keep having to change fingers so they're all equally sore.

I try to prick the side of my fingers because there are less nerves there than the fingertips.

Plus, there's the expense. I received my meter for free because many manufacturers proved them free of charge through hospitals or doctor's offices. That isn't out of altruism; it's because of those cursed little test strips. They're expensive. And profitable. Even with insurance they can cost between thirty-five cents and a dollar. A. PIECE. So if someone is Type 1 diabetes they may have to test four times a day whereas Type 2 people like me test twice. So that's two to four dollars a day, not counting the price of lancets (which are much cheaper) or medication (which can be equally expensive or worse.) Many people who are diabetic aren't even educated about home testing meters because health authorities don't want to bear the cost of the supplies.

The physician assistant who gave me my meter didn't even instruct me in how to use mine. I had to go to Walgreens, where the very nice pharmacist showed me how. That's just sad.

Take note! Used medical testing supplies like the strips and the lancets could NEVER be placed in the garbage can. Have a separate receptacle for them with a tight lid. They sell such things at pharmacies; similar to a biohazard box in hospitals. You can then take them to a participating hospital to be incinerated. Failure to comply could result in stiff fines by the city or county you live in if they're discovered by the waste management department.

But good news may be on the horizon. Different companies are working on non-evasive devices that use infrared to measure blood glucose. Others are working on continuous glucose monitors where a probe is placed under the skin and separate device monitors the sugar levels every five minutes. The cheapest retails for over one hundred and fifty dollars and I'm not sure if they're covered by insurance. Besides, if finger pricking hurts having a transmitter embedded in one's flesh must be painful.

Guess I'll stick with the vampire blood monitor for now.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as I go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

Herbal Teas That Don't Taste Like Ass

Forgive the lateness of my post. Had a crazy con weekend followed by dinner with friends.


Disclaimer: The products discussed are the sole property of the manufacturers and my opinions are in no way an official endorsement.


I read this article about diabetes and caffeine recently here: http://www.dukehealth.org/health_library/news/10226. Now I love my iced coffee and Diet Pepsi but this concerned me so I decided to look for lower caffeine alternatives like black, green, and white teas or the no caffeine route of water and herbal tea.

A good friend snorted with derisive laughter and remarked, "Why would you drink that? Herbal teas taste like ass!"

So I decided to see for myself if this were so. I went to the store and bought what I hoped was a good cross-section of herbals and tried them for myself. Just to be fair and give them all an equal chance, I didn't add any sweetener, letting them fall or stand on merit of taste alone.

All of the teas I tried were brewed with eight ounces of filtered water for four to six minutes, according to the instructions written on each box.

And the nominees are:

The Fruit Tea Sampler pack from Celestial Seasonings(tm)

The Herbal Tea Sampler pack from the same company.

Bigelow(tm) brand Assorted Herb Teas

Yogi Tea(tm) Bedtime tea

Tazo Brand(tm) Wild Sweet Orange Tea

Tazo Brand Refresh Tea(tm)

Passion(tm) also by Tazo

Twinings' Rooibos Tea(tm)

Stash Brand(tm) Mango Passionfruit

and Organic India's Tulsi Tea Sweet Rose (tm) flavored tea

And without further ado in no particular order, the teas I thought didn't taste like ass.

Wild Berry Zinger has a tart taste to it. Not overpowering or sour like some teas that try
too hard to recreate the taste of a SweeTart(tm). If you like tart teas, give it a try.

There are many lemon flavored herbal teas but Celestial Seasoning's Lemon Zinger is good
without being overpowering. Second runner up is Bigelow's I Love Lemon. It's just a
dollop of honey and a shot of Jack Daniels away from being a hot toddy.

But my hands down favorite for this variety pack is Black Cherry Berry. To me, the taste
was a near perfect match for Black Cherry Kool-Aid(tm), even without sugar.

Chamomile is another easy herbal choice but I like the Honey Vanilla Chamomile made by
Celestial Seasonings. The three flavors are in balance and taste equally on the tongue.
It's a sweet candy taste even without a drop of sweetener besides the honey. (I would so buy this if it were a candy.)

When it comes to most mint teas they're "okay" at best and "heated mouthwash" at worst.
However, the Mint Medley blend by Bigelow and Refresh by Tazo are the best I've
tasted so far.

Stash's Mango Passionfruit has a good flavor, but I can't really tell the mango from the
passionfruit. Both need to be more distinctive.

Another herbal tea so common it might as well be a cliche is some sort of good sleep blend,
the most famous being Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime. But my favorite is Yogi Brand Bedtime
Tea. It's delicious and...zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

Anybody out there love Orange Tic Tacs? Try Tazo brand's Wild Sweet Orange,it's fantastic.
Sweet and tart in just the right amounts with a genuine orange taste. One of my favorites.

The aroma of Tulsi Tea Sweet Rose as it steams is as beautiful and fragrant as a real rose.
Yeah, other teas had stronger flavors but I just feel all dainty and feminine when I drink it.
Wish I had some Turkish Delight to eat with it. (Hey! It's my sentimental favorite tea! I'm
allowed!)

Twinnings' Rooibos Tea is...okay. Red tea on its own doesn't have a distinctive taste but
blends well with other flavors. Check out Rooibos Chai varieties or Tazo's Vanilla Rooibos tea.
Mmmmm...

Last tea is yet again a Tazo brand. Passion. It's delicious, equally good hot or cold. Tart
and sweet, it's a great alternative to the classic iced sweet tea...which I can't really have
any more...

*sips herbal tea*

And there we are. I am sure there are many more herbal teas out there worthy of mention
but these were all I could afford or were readily available. Feel free to suggest more.

Please note that none of the teas I tried in the sampler packs were in anyway "bad". They were just not as flavorful or memorable to me than some of the other flavors.


Sorry there are no pictures to accompany this post. I have no memory card for our digital camera.

Vacation: Keeping To My Diet In Japan

I had the opportunity to go to Japan for the first and possibly last time this May. After prolonged wrestling to get my passport (nearly doomed the trip) we were off.

Ever tried to get through security with an ounce over the liquid limit? Now try that with lancets; tiny little needles that go in a spring loaded device. Fortunately I had a note from my doctor that I carried with me at all times in a pouch around my neck with my passport. I carried all my medications in their original boxes or bottles and brought plenty of snacks (keeping your carbohydrates consistent is key) to carry around.

I won't go into the fun of a fourteen hour flight in Coach but the flight attendants took good care of us and fed us well. Most airlines offer special diabetic and even vegetarian meals but be sure to request them ahead of time.

Once in Japan, I knew I was in trouble. Most Japanese food is very healthy; they have smaller portions, have less heavy sauces and even their sweets are less sweet. Plus there's lots of walking which translated into great exercise which made me glad I was wearing braces on my poor beleaguered knees.

But many Japanese meals are served with lots and lots of noodles and rice, the best rice in the world. How to eat without offending my host? Well, traveling in a group helped me not only avoid temptation but ensure the extra carbohydrates did not go to waste. Japanese soil is incredibly rich in its volcanic regions and the fresh produce was incredible. The seafood specialties were wonderful, just don't ask what you're eating. All in all the trip was a great experience culturally, gastronomically, physically. I lost another eight pounds from all the walking!

Diabetes can't keep you from international travel, just be prepared, carry extra supplies and proceed with caution. Keep a phrase book with you, learn the language or have a wonderful friend who can communicate with locals.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as I go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

Getting In My Thirty Minutes of Exercise And Still Being Able To Move

Warning: Please consult with your doctor before beginning any exercise program. Always stretch, warm up, and cool down properly every time you exercise.

I don't belong to a gym, I can't afford to. The commercials look great though, all those beautiful people with their long lean muscles and workout clothes that match getting into even better shape as they run on a treadmill or take pilates.

There is nothing wrong with joining a gym to lose weight. For some people it's much better to take a class or work one on one with a trainer rather than try it on your own. There's even gender specific gyms for those who want to focus on working out without feeling self-conscious if someone is looking them over. For me, the solo route is a monetary necessity.

Walking is great. It's both aerobic and strengthening, probably helps coordination and flexibility too. It burns calories and best of all, it's free! Sometimes it's unsafe depending on climate or the neighborhood you live in.

There's a solution: mall walking!

Most malls will open their doors early for people who want to get their exercise by walking circuits around the mall. The stores aren't open but the walkways are. Some places like coffee shops or fast food outlets will open their doors around the same time to cash in on walkers in need of a snack boost. It's free and air conditioned; perfect year round and safe because most malls have security. And yes, a lot of them are competent security guards who work hard.

If that doesn't appeal to you, what about a walk at home program? Some cable networks carry Exercise or Fit TV, some with optional on demand channels so you can work out whenever you want at your own pace. Or there's workouts on DVD covering everything from walking workouts to routines that focus on specific body parts.

That's kind of my favorite option. You can work out in safety and privacy if you're like me and feel like a clumsy dork around others when you work out.

And yes, it works. Through diet and exercise I've lost twenty six pounds so far and I hope to be below two hundred by Christmas.

If walking gets too easy for you, change it up. Try doing bicep curls as you walk or walk up and down the escalators before and after each lap.

Keep yourself motivated and on track with a walking mix on your personal listening device, whatever that may be. Choose songs you like that motivate you. Here are a few examples that are in no way meant as any endorsement:

"Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor
"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger" by Daft Punk
"We Will Rock You" by Queen
"Milkshake" by Kellis
"Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats (Don't laugh, it's fun)
"Get This Party Started" by Pink

Add your own. Mix and match. Start slow with fifteen minutes and build to thirty, maybe more if you feel comfortable and have time. Sometimes I don't have a big stretch of time so I work out in fifteen minute increments. Exercise is especially important as a diabetic. Not only to lose weight and get in shape but for every minute you are active (according to the registered dietitian) you lower your blood sugar one point.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as I go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

HOW Much Does This Class Cost? Is It Covered By My Insurance?

Wrestling with the insurance company to get them to pay for things is always fun. Some pharmacies offer a discount when you buy a ninety day supply but when your insurance will only pay for 45 or 60 what can you do? Probably what I'm having to do; deal with it. Maybe if I lose enough weight I can eventually control my diabetes with diet and exercise and won't have to take Glimepiride any more. I can hope. I'll still have to buy those expensive testing supplies. I can't help but laugh when people talk about national health care and decry "allowing some bureaucrat to come between me and my doctor" when the insurance companies already are. I understand these companies are in business to make a profit. I also understand doctor's offices and hospitals are run more like a business and less about making us well. There is nothing wrong with making a profit as long as you are offering a quality product or service and are taking good care of one's customers.

There, off my soap box.

My doctor recommended I take a diabetes education class offered by a local hospital taught by a registered dietician. The class was very informative and a I learned quite a bit in the two four hour sessions my support person, Ellen, and I attended.

Imagine my surprise when I received a bill from the hospital stating the charge for the class was over twelve hundred dollars! My insurance company paid a bit over seven hundred, the value they placed on the class, leaving me to pay the balance. Yes, I paid, and now looking back I don't think I should have because even with a registered dietician and nurse and the literature they gave us, I don't think it was worth that much. I could probably have learned to read nutrition labels from books at the library and some of the materials offered are available online for free! It was good and professional information but for that much I could have taken an entire semester at a local two-year college. I feel gypped.

Ask me if I would ever go back to that hospital. Not without knowing about the cost upfront I won't.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as a go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

Cake or Death? I'll have the chicken...

I love food.

I cannot tell you how much I love food or when it even began. Probably with my mother, who when I was very little was a housewife long before they were desperate for anything beyond peace and quiet and the occasional Tupperware party. She made most of what she cooked from scratch to me, nothing served to me in a restaurant will compare. We grew up in the South and all that entails; delectable fried foods but homegrown vegetables from our grandfather's garden as well. Food was nutrition but it was also love; we were all served our favorite cake and meal on our birthdays and the holidays full of homemade cookies and pies in four flavors.

Food was also comfort when I was depressed when someone made me feel bad or kids at school who bullied me, called me ugly, or treated me like a freak. It's what I stuffed myself with to fill the loneliness from having little or no friends and siblings who didn't understand me and a dad who couldn't relate. After a while it became easy to sit with a book and read indoors rather than be laughed at for being clumsy and uncoordinated. Let them play while I got smarter. In my arrogance I thought myself superior to those "dumb jocks" because I got good grades.

Food was there when I battled clinical depression, deaths in the family, my own insecurities. But I don't want to live like that any more. I want to have someone to talk to when I feel that way. And I do. Several people. I have friends, real life friends to hang out with when I'm lonely, schedule permitting and someone who truly loves me at any size.

So I'm gonna learn to be happy without food.

First, I'm going to learn to be happy with smaller portions. Those first few weeks were hell because I wasn't eating as much and it was driving me nuts. So I did some research online at www.diabetes.org about meal planning, including how much to put on your plate, what to eat and little visual tricks such as using smaller plates to make the food look bigger.

Your body needs water any way so why not drink something that makes you feel more full? I also like tea, sweet(Splenda, Stevia) or unsweet, decaf or regular. Yeah, plain water is boring but you can add little flavorings, like lemon or lime juice. Or the juice of one (just one!) of a berry, be it strawberry, raspberry, blackberry, etc.

No lie; those first few weeks of less food and different food was horrible. Now my stomach's adjusted and hopefully I wouldn't want to back to eating as much as I used to and the very idea of salty, fatty foods disgusts me.

I still miss ice cream and cookies and I can't see that ever completely going away but now I make good substitution choices. Some of it is just good common sense. Do I want a tiny little half cup of low carb or sugar free ice cream or do I want a whole cup of mixed berries?

Seems like easy math to me.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as a go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

Throwing White Rice Makes Me Cry. And White Flour, White Sugar...

April 1, 2010 (yes, we laughed about the irony too) I decided to throw out all the "white" foods I had around the house. Any simple carbohydrates that quickly became sugar in the blood were thrown out. So no more white flour, white sugar, or white rice. I barely bake or cook from scratch so the flour wasn't a huge sacrifice to make. Fortunately the rice was nearly empty or I would still be bemoaning the waste of money. But the sugar, ah...there's the rub. I had only bought it two days prior and it was barely open. Sugar, you dear old childhood friend, you sweet tyrant. How I would miss you...

Until I remembered I'd miss limbs that would have to be amputated if I continued on this path of overindulgence even more and after that it was easy to rid the house of sugar and its minion white bread in favor of more complex carbohydrates like whole wheat and multi-grain. Brown rice was in and so was wheat pasta. I would become virtuous with my eating habits if it would keep me alive and started taking my medication every day. I was terrified. I didn't want to die. Guess you could say I was up to the bargaining stage of grief at this point, having come through denial and anger already. What if I'd refused to go to the doctor? Would I be dead right now? Looking back it still makes me shake.

Next came other sweet sources. Soda? Diet or zero carb. That ice cream in the freezer? Slush in the dumpster, its delicious whipped topping, chocolate syrup and marashino cherries shortly followed. Adios, mi tres leche cake. I kept the Godiva liqueur for occasional treats because a) Delicious and b)It was a frickin' present from Dave, my darling man's brother.

On to portion control. I started measuring my food. One-third cup for rice. Two dry ounces of pasta. Three ounces of lean meat and a cup or so of non-starchy vegetables. So too much rice: bad. Green leafy veggies? Go nuts. Up to a point.

I started drinking more black, green and herbal tea; bought the big box of Splenda with a little Stevia or agave nectar for variation. My sugar started slowly coming down. The agave was expensive and even though it didn't spike as bad as sugar, it still spiked a bit so I phased it out in favor of Stevia and Splenda. I decided it would be a good idea to start cutting fat and sodium too so bye bye to most fast food. I would start to think of myself as allergic to it and try to avoid it until I felt more self-disciplined. I'm not there yet so you can imagine how long it's been since my last french fry. Salt started taking a backseat to other seasonings like garlic, ginger, lemon pepper, and herbs. I've swapped out fish for most red meat and now make a mean turkey burrito.

But let me be honest. I haven't been perfect. I've cheated. I've pigged out on peanut butter crackers and the occasional sugar free chocolate treat. I'm a little better than I was a few months ago.

Now I want to take a moment and acknowledge the kickarse support system I have. There's the built-in resource I have in my friend and personal angel, Jen, who is herself diabetic and has been there with great advice like, "Don't beat yourself up. Make small changes." (Kev, you are sooooo lucky! But so is she.)

My most important man, mi Esteban is now and has always been my rock. He's worth getting healthy and staying alive for.

I am truly blessed to have a "mother-in-law" like Ellen, Stephen's mom. She's been there for me when I needed to go to the doctor or pick up prescriptions and has found great diabetic snacks for me to try. Fortunate is she who calls this woman not only family but friend. I'm not kissing up, she's a classy lady but she'll also boomsmite me out of existence when and if she has to.

My great friends of TBA and MMOs. I don't see them as often as I would like because they have their own families but I love them.

When Stephen joined the Nihonzashi Dojo of St. Petersburg, Florida I also gained a group of wonderful, yet dangerous friends who are awesome to chill with and couldn't have anyone better guarding my back. Sempai is not only a fun "big sis" but also has been where I am with a family member and is lovingly strict with me. I'm not going to argue with a woman who could cut my head off and put it back on my neck before my body hit the ground.

LJ, you wickedly funny guy! We love you, your humor, your passion, and your re-introducing me to Doctor Who. I'm glad you're in my life.

To my mIRC buddies, especially the multitalented Filia, who came up with the name for this blog. Ranchan, Vaz, Yasu (grab!). Oyasumi.

Last and least...oh, I'm joking...are the usual gang of idiots I work with, for yelling at me if I even look at fast food, checking to make sure I don't cheat with sugared soda and complimenting me on my weight loss.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as a go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.

It's the end, my friend. Or the start....

Diabetes Type 2 takes years to develop, or so I've read. It began with tiny things. Like the fact I seemed thirsty all the time no matter what I drank and spent enough time in the bathroom to read all the Harry Potter books. Twice. Tiny little cuts and bruises took forever to heal and when I caught a cold it lasted on average two months, even when I took antibiotics. More than that, I was tired all the time, even on days when I got a minimum of nine hours sleep. I kept drinking sugary soda loaded with caffeine, hoping it would help and couldn't figure out why I still felt exhausted. I ate too much fast food at work because it was cheap and convenient. Chocolate, ice cream and cakes or pies were constant companions. Exercise? I hated it. I ignored all the signs either because I didn't recognize them for what they were or I didn't want to.

It should not have been such a surprise. My paternal aunt is a diabetic and has been nearly all the time I've known her. I was never as active or athletic as some of my siblings so I wasn't outside playing as much as I should have. One of my sisters was gestational and then borderline diabetic until she got the disease under control. But I didn't want to think I could get diabetes. I deluded myself into thinking, "It can't happen to me", even as I got dizzy spells at work from the after meal carbohydrate crash or a decrease in desire for my wonderful boyfriend. I attributed it to age and weight gain. Looking back it was incredibly obvious and I wish I'd started sooner.

I work in the mall and always arrive thirty minutes early. I could have walked laps with the mall walkers. Perhaps I could have prevented diabetes, perhaps not, but I could have tried. But I didn't.

February of 2010 I had a horrid cold that felt almost like the flu. The usual rounds of medications were not doing the job and my employers were understandably concerned that I would not be able to do my job effectively. So I went to my primary care physician, who did a routine blood draw to check my white cell count. Later that week, one of the office assistants left an urgent message on my answering machine and told me I needed to make a followup appointment with the doctor ASAP. My first assumption was I had bronchitis or pneumonia. Irritating, but not earth shattering.

On March 29, 2010 I was diagnosed with diabetes and it felt like all the fun had gone out of my life. No more ice cream, candy, cake...and what the heck was I going to do without chocolate?! I'd go insane! This couldn't be happening to me, I didn't deserve it. Then the doctor talked about diabetic education classes and losing weight. Would my insurance cover all this? Would I need oral medication or *shudder* insulin shots? I would have to get used to poking my finger every day to test my blood sugar. I would have to start taking medications until my blood sugar was under control. Maybe for the rest of my life. After the diagnosis and reassuring concerned friends and family I was fine I went home and cried alone, feeling overwhelmed and small and helpless.

But hey, maybe it's not the end of the world. There's lots of things I can do to help myself. I can start changing my diet in a way I can get healthy and live a long life but not starve. And yes, I can start to *shudder* exercise. Maybe there's a fun one out there I could learn to like. If I'm careful and learn to control my portions and and how often I eat it, perhaps chocolate won't be gone forever.

My only fear is staying on track. Changing years of routine will take months to undo, and that's if I'm disciplined. Oh, boy. I'm going to need help, advice, support; and provide a little too.


Disclaimer: This is my personal experience and my own opinions. I'm not trying to treat or diagnose anything and the opinions I express are my own. This is all conjecture. I'm learning as a go so forgive any inaccuracies. This is a way for me to cope and focus my emotions into something positive. If you read this and recognize yourself in anything I've written about, please, talk to your doctor. Read some books. And never be afraid to scream, cry, or yes, laugh about being a diabetic. I'm going to.